Emoting

My emotions seem pretty wild lately. Up until about 8 days ago I had been very excited about learning to use a white cane. I met my very nice instructor last week, and he left me with a used cane to practice with until we determine exactly what kind of cane would be best for me, and then order one. 

After he left my emotions went crazy. I don't need this, what was I thinking?! Embarrassment, shame, fear. What if someone thinks I'm a fraud because I can see, some? I know I have to stop worrying about what others think, but geeeesh, it's hard. 

This whole process has been so different, so foreign to anything I have ever experienced. There is no possible way for me to prepare myself. For someone like myself who likes life neat and tidy and planned out... That's hard. 

Trying to take this one step at a time. Literally, one foot in front of the other. Deep breaths...