I sit here frustrated.
So much of my life has changed over the last 9 months. Yet there are so many loose ends. The most difficult one for me to swallow right now is how I had been cut loose from my work team. And yet somehow that process still isn't complete. I was told back in January that there wasn't a position for me to return to and that I would be receiving a severance package. Here it is, June, and I've yet to receive anything. Any and all communication with former coworkers has been nonexistent. I feel like a leper: Ignore it, don't acknowledge it. It'll just go away. It never really existed, just pretend its not there. There's a part of me that wants to scream at the top of my lungs until someone finally acknowledges me. Then the rest of me just wants to slink away, they don't deserve my time anyway. But I'd really love to ask just what they think I did, personally, to deserve this treatment? Does anyone *want* to lose all or some of their sight? I certainly didn't willingly give up my job. Do they think I enjoy being dependant on others?
Generally I feel as though I've been rather successful in seeing the good in my circumstances. Because there *has* been good. But right now I have to acknowledge the bad, too, or it's simply going to eat me alive.
Being cast aside so carelessly, and then completely cut off from the life I once knew adds insult to injury, quite literally. Then having to fight for what I was promised to begin with just piles on the insult. I have a horrible taste for the corporate world of retail in my mouth. Companies should treat people with more dignity, more respect. And this is just a guess because I can only speak for myself; I'm pretty certain that most people who find themselves disabled in one way or another would most likely - gladly - give up whatever benefit they receive to no longer be disabled.